A Reversal of Roles with Laura Long

In Episode 5 of Caring Table Podcast, I sit down with Laura Long, Vice President of Independent Living of Fellowship Community, to talk about one of the most emotional and challenging transitions families face, when adult children begin caring for their aging parents.

Laura joins the conversation to share both her professional experience in senior living and her personal journey that inspired her book, When Did I Become My Parents' Parent?. Which you can buy now on Amazon.

The book was written to help families navigate the difficult conversations that often arise as parents age and need additional support. Its focus is to honor parents while helping adult children navigate caregiving decisions with compassion and preparation. 

Topics Covered

• When and how to start conversations with aging parents
• Understanding power of attorney and financial planning
• Dementia and Alzheimer’s caregiving realities
• Preventing caregiver burnout
• Senior living options and levels of care
• Protecting seniors from financial scams
• Why planning early can prevent crisis situations

Whether you're caring for a loved one now or preparing for the future, this episode offers practical advice, emotional encouragement, and a reminder that families do not have to navigate this journey alone.

Episode Sponsored by:

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Our Mission encourages vibrant, healthy, and productive living through stories about people we meet and serve.

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Transcript

00:00:01:15 - 00:00:32:04

Welcome to Caring Table. I am Dianne Frana, your host. Having real conversations about real topics shaping lives in the Lehigh Valley and beyond. Hi everyone. Welcome back to Caring Table Podcast. This is episode five. Today we are here with author Laura Long. Her book is When Did I Become My Parents' Parent. That is a reverse role that we are all facing and that you're not alone.

00:00:32:05 - 00:01:03:15

Hi, Laura. Hello. Thank you for having me here. So excited to be here. Yes, I would like to know what inspired you to do this book. Sure. I appreciate it. Two reasons. Number one, I have been working in senior living for over a decade. Local Fellowship Community. But I also went through this as an adult daughter. And one of the things I find is I get a lot of phone calls from adult children who are now trying to navigate this with their parents and have no idea, like, you're a mom.

00:01:03:21 - 00:01:22:11

I'm a mom. I know with my first child reading all the books I could, you know what to expect when expecting, and there's nothing really on this end. You know, we're kind of in that sandwich generation. That's why I wrote it. I do want people to be aware they're not alone out there, but the feelings that they have, you have many different feelings that you experience.

00:01:22:15 - 00:01:44:15

And this is also it's comforting when I read through to realize we're not alone. You're not alone. And I think a lot of times the dynamic of the family, you know, I'm the youngest of three. The girl I thought I'd never have to deal with this. That that was my brother's role. And then all of a sudden, the family dynamic sometimes changes.

00:01:44:15 - 00:02:03:05

And that was one of the points I wanted in the book, was you really have to have this conversation early. You know who's responsible, it'll help. The other thing I wanted to say is, I really wanted to make this as an honoring to our parents as I could. So when I said, when did they become my Parents' parent, I wasn't trying to, say that they became children.

00:02:03:07 - 00:02:26:13

But in many times with my mom's dementia, you know, there are times where she can't make decisions any longer. So that's what I wanted to be honoring and helpful, and also for them not to feel like they're losing control. Right. And that's a big thing. Yes, it is because they struggle with that and facing that. So how do you preserve their independence?

00:02:26:15 - 00:02:48:20

Well, I think the hard one and giving, example with my parents, you know, my dad was the one that got sicker quicker. And while we as a family were focusing on how to care for my dad, I am dementia trained. I mean, I totally missed the signs with my mom and some of the things like anger, feeling as though she wasn't in control, those kind of things.

00:02:48:21 - 00:03:10:08

And so you want to honor the independence, but there's a point in time that you may be seeing that they can't live alone any longer, and they may not see it. So that's when these conversations have to start happening. And that's the key is the conversations. And when they start and that they should start early. And communication is always the piece.

00:03:10:08 - 00:03:29:21

The more communication the better. Right. And I find, you know, even myself with the adult children. Have I had that conversation. Do they know how much money I have? Do they know if I can afford to be at a community? And, and a lot of times you don't want to share that with your kids, but the big thing that you and I talked about is the power of attorney, the power of attorney role.

00:03:29:22 - 00:03:46:00

I am not an attorney, and I don't play one. But I'm just saying with that power of attorney, it's not as though the kids can swoop in and take control, but you have to have something in place when perhaps your parents can't make those decisions any longer. That's when I get those phone calls. That's when the tailspin starts again.

00:03:46:00 - 00:04:08:00

Just trying to be ahead of the curve before something happens. And that's the key, is being ahead of the curve instead of have to act fast because of a situation that arises and you're pressed for time. And it does take time to establish power of attorney. And there can be a financial power of attorney as well as a medical power of ten.

00:04:08:02 - 00:04:32:04

Absolutely. And again, going back to me being the youngest in the family, when my oldest brother had passed away, one that is closest to the age, my brother does so much doubt my parents, but he lives down south. So when he said he'd be power of attorney, I was like, oh, that was great. But then I realized medically, if I was taking my mother to the doctor, you know, they're not going to talk to me because I'm not the power of attorney, the medical power of attorney.

00:04:32:04 - 00:04:49:19

So those were things we had to start those conversations. Can we be joint power of attorney? Absolutely. But you're right. You have to be able to know that you're not trying to take away your Parents' independence, but you have to know if you can step in and help and make them aware that you're not coming in to take their independence away.

00:04:49:20 - 00:05:11:06

That is important also to still make them feel like they are making the decisions and they have the power. It's just in the way the conversations go. It's true. And there's all those layers with relationships. You know if all of a sudden you may not have had the best relationship with the parent and then you are thrown into that role, you're right.

00:05:11:06 - 00:05:26:16

It's a respect. You know I'll tell you one thing I did that I it worked was the fact that my mom's dementia was starting to make her very paranoid. She would ask me to go into the doctor's office with her, but then she felt I was talking about her behind her back, and I didn't want her to feel that way.

00:05:26:16 - 00:05:45:21

And then I realized when I set up her medical portal, I could go in and put in questions for the doctor ahead of time. So when the doctor came in the room, that physician was reading the questions that I had written, but never asked me, it was already something my mother thought he was just figuring out on his own and asking.

00:05:45:21 - 00:06:08:12

So that was preserving her dignity. But also, I needed answers, right? And that was just one way I was able to do that. As a power of attorney. I was able to get in that way. The medical. That's a great idea. I mean, because then you're having that silent conversation with the doctor, right? And you're getting the communication across of what needs to be done without taking your mother's dignity away.

00:06:08:12 - 00:06:33:11

That is so important. I'm experiencing it myself. My mom has Alzheimer's, and it's completely different from what I experienced with my father led congestive heart failure who was cognitively alert, but unfortunately, his heart was failing so simple. My dad was aware with his body breaking down. My mom's the other way. Her body's very strong, but mentally, you know, and it hits really difficult, you know?

00:06:33:11 - 00:06:52:21

And I think if you are the caregiver and you are saying to your parents, I just told you that, you know, you got to realize one of the big things with dementia is you've got to place yourself in their time zone at that particular time. And I know it can be frustrating. You feel like you've answered the same question ten times within the minute.

00:06:52:21 - 00:07:11:23

You know, when you stop and go back like my mom. It is amazing to me. She can go back to when she was a child. She can remember everything. She can remember what her mother made soup wise during the depression. But just somebody walking in a room and walking back out, she may not be able to retain that, which is the case in many situations.

00:07:12:01 - 00:07:31:17

Yes. Yeah. My mom had a conversation with my sister about my sister. So you just go along with it. You just go along with it. But you do, you do. And you just, you know, temper. And then you can redirect them to another subject. And that's a key redirect because it keeps you from getting frustrated you know.

00:07:31:17 - 00:07:52:03

And as the caregiver I was very impressed with Bruce Willis, the actor's wife who wrote the book on with what he's struggling with and and caregivers burnout quickly. You've got to have people around you. You've got to have community hire, maybe somebody coming into your home. But when they're coming into the home to take care of your loved one, you need to go out and do some things.

00:07:52:04 - 00:08:14:10

You know, go out to lunch, go get your hair done. You know, something like that. I find that caregiver burnout is one of the hardest things, and it's out there. I witnessed it many times with people in the community where I worked as well, and the children, because it depends. Sometimes it can fall on just one family member because of the others where they're located.

00:08:14:10 - 00:08:34:02

Sometimes there's only one person in the family, so it's a lot. It falls into place. Who will be the caretaker or the medical power of attorney or financial power of attorney? He. You're right. But for those that are not, you still have to stay in communication. I think that's the key for a lot of things is the communication.

00:08:34:03 - 00:08:53:07

While in the dynamics of the family, like you said, if maybe they're not living close, they don't see mom and dad on a regular basis. So they're not seeing all of those things that you're seeing. And sometimes, you know, going back to my parents, they covered up for each other. You know, I didn't realize. And I mean, I'm not saying that in a bad way.

00:08:53:11 - 00:09:10:07

It was just as a unit as a couple. They worked well together. But I wasn't catching all those signs with my mom, you know? And I will tell you what the heartbreaking part that I see in my job is. I have a lot of couples and I honor this. They've been married a very long time, in sickness and in health.

00:09:10:07 - 00:09:26:15

What's hard is to see the one becoming the caregiver. And I will always say to them, what if you had to go to the hospital tonight? You know, could your wife stay home alone? Could your husband stay home alone? And the answer is always no. But then the next statement is always will. Nothing's going to happen to me.

00:09:26:17 - 00:09:49:06

So I get that. But it's a point in time where you've got to say, I need help, and it's going to maybe prolong your life as the caregiver to being the caregiver of a spouse. That's a toll, because sometimes them medically, like you were saying, are not in the best condition. And then what happens that also affects their medical condition as well from stress.

00:09:49:08 - 00:10:12:16

The stress does affect it. So you do want to be there as long as you can for your loved one. Realizing the timing of letting go and accepting the help and the way the assistance is proposed to them for doing it so they don't feel like they're losing their independence. That's true. You know, sometimes I'll say to people, if you can stay home as long as you can, you might have to do some things in the house to be able to do that.

00:10:12:17 - 00:10:33:18

Maybe you get one of those medical alerts with the fall detection. That's really important because sometimes I'll be going up the steps and I might trip the step foot. The fall detection will immediately call 911, or maybe your washer and dryers in the basement. Is there a way with that, your family can maybe move it up down to the level where you're living to make it easier so you're not going up and down the steps.

00:10:33:22 - 00:10:57:15

So there are things you can put in place, but you have to be willing to accept that as well too. Yes. And that was on episode four. That's when we discussed with the guest there, Dianne Davidson, about the difference and different options of staying in your home. Or the other option is moving in with your parents or your parents moving in with you or purchasing a home together.

00:10:57:17 - 00:11:19:11

But when you're doing that, you do have to be prepared for that. Taking that on as a child and being the caregiver and you want to set your boundaries. Yeah that's a big word. Yep. Boundaries. It's true. And it's so funny you said that because just about a month ago I got a phone call where the parents were calling to see if maybe they could move on to our campus.

00:11:19:11 - 00:11:36:18

The independent living. And they did just that. They said, we build on to our son's home. And I said, oh, that's where you move in. Well, it just became maybe it didn't work. The way they thought it would be. Or sometimes I've had folks say, I'm just going to move Mom and Dad down to where I live.

00:11:36:18 - 00:11:52:17

Well, then you got to realize they have no friends down there. You know, they could make friends, but you're picking them up and moving them. So you have to think about all of that, what is best for them, what is best for where they're living, or is it an area where more of the siblings can come and see?

00:11:52:18 - 00:12:10:22

So there's just a lot of conversations to start having, you know, everybody's going to say to you, I want to stay home, you know, and and I get that, but maybe it's not the best. Well, a lot of reasons that they are saying that they want to stay home. That's what their, their memories are. Their that's what they're accustomed to, their routine.

00:12:11:00 - 00:12:31:17

As we age, we do seem to get in more of a routine and a schedule. And the fear of the . Absolutely. Yeah, I agree with that. That's why I admire a lot of other cultures where it's you just do live all together, you know, it's just the way that you're raised or even looking back, maybe in the 30s or 40s, people all lived together.

00:12:31:17 - 00:12:50:00

And now the dynamic, as most people are, you know, the one income to income, they just can't not work or they don't have the skill set. Like my mom, I could not bring her home, even if that was a choice. You know, she'd be wandering, maybe turning on the stove, that kind of thing. So it's not always the best.

00:12:50:00 - 00:13:09:22

It's a great idea. And this is the other thing I say to folks. If it's your mom and you're married, you need to make sure that it's okay with your spouse. It's one thing to say, I'm going to bring mom home, but you've got to make sure it is agreeable to everybody, and that's a conversation you have to have first with them.

00:13:09:22 - 00:13:32:01

Not only your spouse, but the children as well. If you have children still living with you, yeah, give yourself a break too, because it can be frustrating. One of the things I noted when I was putting this book together was I just remember having a meltdown in the car, and my daughter was a teenager at that time, and I was working full time trying to understand how to help my parents.

00:13:32:03 - 00:13:55:20

And I just blurted out, you know, if Mark was here, he would have taken care of this. You know, this is his responsibility. And that's when my teenage daughter at the time said, wait a minute, let me understand. You're you're upset with your brother who died because you think you're totally unrealistic. But yeah, I was at that point, I was just two overwhelmed thinking he should have been the one handling this.

00:13:56:00 - 00:14:15:02

So that's why I'm saying give yourself a break. You know, make sure you're communicating this to everybody involved that, and maybe you are the one who thinks you have to do it all. You don't. There's people out there that can help you too. I just look back at that time and I'm like, boy, teenager knew what she was talking about, but I needed that reality check.

00:14:15:03 - 00:14:36:17

And like you said, you were in the business and till you go through no totally different, I know. Yes, yes I am. Yes. Actually, you know, and I did in my view, I knew my dad was very hard of hearing. So if there had been an emergency, he never would have even heard a fire alarm or anything. So interesting to me being in this business for so long.

00:14:36:17 - 00:15:01:11

I did everything a little bit opposite. I had the moved to a 55 and older community and they loved it. But then my dad started to decline pretty quickly, and then my dad was in and out of the hospital a lot, and then there was just we had to have him be somewhere, right. So what? I want to just hope that your listeners will think about there are a lot of options out there 55 and older, living with your family, that kind of thing.

00:15:01:11 - 00:15:21:05

You also want to be aware of what is the difference between a not for profit and a for profit? A lot of communities are for profit now, and in many cases not all. But in many cases, if your loved one, then, outlives her funds, they can't stay. They might be asked to leave the next day. Like in a community like ours.

00:15:21:05 - 00:15:49:05

It's a not for profit. So for my mom, who is now living at fellowship, if she outlives her funds that we have a benevolent care program. So she would be able to stay. But you have to have the discussion because you still need finances to move into communities. So you have to think about that. If you have them at maybe 55 and older and they do go through everything, where are they going to move to, you know, and what you really need to talk to is financial planner.

00:15:49:05 - 00:16:13:19

If you have an attorney, you want to be able to go over these questions with them. The big part is gifting. You want to be very careful that your parents are not just gifting everything away. There's difference between trusts, irrevocable trust and revocable. So that's where you want to talk about to an attorney or a financial planner, just to get all those ducks in a row before anything needs, you know, to be discussed further.

00:16:13:21 - 00:16:37:17

Laura, out there, there's continuing care retirement communities, also known as CC, RC. And within that community there's level of care. And I don't think, you know, the listeners are aware of the different levels of care and going over that. So can we explain to them what's the difference? Some of your communities are just one level of care. Others have the different layers.

00:16:37:17 - 00:17:05:10

Great, great question. So for traditional crises and they are usually what's called a type C community, you're paying as you go while you're there. So many have independent living and then they have personal care. Some people call it assisted living. They have memory care and then they have skilled level of care like a nursing home. What you would think of a nursing home, the big thing that couples and myself included, when you go somewhere independently, we don't all age at the same rate, right?

00:17:05:12 - 00:17:25:11

So, for example, on our campus for what is called a single site. So everything's on that campus. So with you and your husband start in a cottage and then or the new suites, and then one of you needs more level of care. That person would transition, but you would still be on the same campus. So you could walk to see each other, take a shuttle to see each other.

00:17:25:17 - 00:17:46:05

So if your listeners are looking at places for courses, the big thing you want to make sure is that all levels are on that same campus. So that one of you is not having to move to another town kind of thing. So those are questions you have when you go in. And that's a good point to bring up, because each move they got a restructure.

00:17:46:07 - 00:18:22:16

So it does affect how many times they are moving. Right. And you want to keep it simple and as easy as possible also. And when you are calling places when you're starting to investigate I think the number one thing you ask is, well two things. Is it a not for profit or for profit because a not for profit has that benevolent care component, but the other is what are the finances I need when I have somebody call me, that's really the first thing I go over, because I don't think it's fair to have somebody come to your location and fall in love and then realize they can't afford it.

00:18:22:17 - 00:18:42:14

So to your point, there are other communities out there that might just be personal care. Some may only have a few skilled nursing beds, so the person might be going somewhere else on another town. So those are the questions you need to ask when you're calling in your loved ones and any person you're talking to. I have people moving to my campus now.

00:18:42:14 - 00:18:59:03

I had somebody from California, somebody from Nevada all over, because maybe they started here when they were young. They were born here, moved away, and now want to come back so they can do a teams meeting or zoom call and get all the kids on the phone. You know, that's just another way to make sure everybody's on the same page.

00:18:59:04 - 00:19:21:08

And that's a key for everyone to be on the same page. Right. And the more information that is shared and the more that everybody is able to attend, like you said, Rhames or zoom meeting, that's important. So they're all getting the information because even when it is communicated by someone else, you know that whole whisper down the alley, right?

00:19:21:10 - 00:19:41:06

Because sometimes you'll miss some points. And then also, if you're all there listening at the same time, everybody's picking up something different. Absolutely. And I do encourage couples when they're coming to talk to me. If they're not sure, bring another set of ears along, you know, have your kids come along. But I just had a call about two weeks ago where he lived in Seattle, Washington.

00:19:41:10 - 00:20:00:11

So his parents were in the room with me and he could ask all the questions, you know, because it's, again, one thing, they could go home and forget, you know, half the conversation. It is a lot of information to think about. And it is hard. I know when I go my basement and I've been in my house over 30 years, it is overwhelming to think all that stuff.

00:20:00:13 - 00:20:20:06

You got a lot of stuff. What do you do with that? In most communities will have people that you can contact to help you with that. Don't let your house be the reason why you can't move somewhere. That makes sense. Yes, you don't want that to stop you, because you do want to be able to make a decision of where you want to live, not before because of a trauma situation.

00:20:20:06 - 00:20:40:05

Right? And you want to make the choice of where you go. And that's why the continuing care is great, because you have found a community, a family. And then if you have to move to the next level, you already have friends that will be coming in, visiting you on the campus. So it's a good choice. And it's true because you meet friends.

00:20:40:05 - 00:20:59:11

I will do make friends and react is yeah, very active. Yes. And that's important. And an important fact also was when you said when you move them away from their town and with you, you're taking them away from their friends. And one of the key components is being engaged in social activity. Absolutely. And I am a true believer.

00:20:59:16 - 00:21:22:02

We perform where the bar is so where do we want to set that bar? And with dimensional turns that it's better to have it a little higher, not to expect too much, but understand how they're reacting, but still to have them engaging in the activities that they can. And I think perfect example everybody can relate is Covid what did everybody do.

00:21:22:02 - 00:21:50:15

They isolated that isolation can have you decline even further. So you want to be around people, especially people your own age, that had the shared memories, shared musics, you know, movies and things to talk about? Yes. Which I do get the intergenerational. It's wonderful. We do a lot and, you know, you be part of the Whitehall Rotary. We do a lot over at the high school, mock interviews with the kids and watching that intergenerational, helping them learn how to interview.

00:21:50:15 - 00:22:08:00

But just it's a lot of fun to see the, you know, the interaction between the folks. And I bring a lot of my residents over. So it's just fun to see that. Yes. And it's important for both parties. They both learn from each other, which is a big plus. And that's important. Agreed. Two things I want to address.

00:22:08:00 - 00:22:30:21

One is about activities of daily living, which are known as ADLs. So that is a term that is going to be said to families and for them to understand what ADLs are. So the activities of daily living, one of the big things is if your parents or you're listening and you have long term health insurance, which is expensive to get, and I tell everybody it's a big benefit.

00:22:30:21 - 00:22:50:04

Again, it's insurance, right? But if you need it and it helps, and with long term health insurance that can help pay for part of your room and board. So remember when I said a type C community you're paying as you go. So when you go to independent living you're paying a monthly fee. You have a buy in. And that's all based on refunds and things coming back.

00:22:50:04 - 00:23:05:18

But you're paying a monthly fee to live there when you go to the next level of care. It's another monthly fee. When you go to the skilled nursing, it's another monthly fee. But with the activities of daily living, when you have long term care, usually it's a policy that you have to have maybe three activities of daily living.

00:23:05:18 - 00:23:35:20

Like you need help getting dressed. You need help getting back in the bed. You need help. Maybe with meals, that kind of thing. So that's when you go to the next level of care personal care, assisted living. That's when professional will be able to talk you through that and assess what level you should be at. Another thing that I find is important to know also when we start and if it is all timers dementia in the beginning, you may be able to be functioning independently and personal care level will be sufficient.

00:23:35:20 - 00:24:02:20

But then as you decline, you want to make aware if your family member, your loved one is in personal care, that the transition into memory care absolutely a nice, easy transition. And that's where some personal care communities or CCRC will have that. You're not moving them off site where you're there, you're there and with our memory care called the courtyard, that is a secured area.

00:24:03:01 - 00:24:26:02

It's beautiful down there with living room, dining room, the bedrooms and why I say secured. Most folks, when they're at that level, they might be wandering, you know, they they just will be impulsive, that kind of thing. So family members can absolutely come in and see them, but it's, it's a very secure in all of the staff that works in this type of industry are caring.

00:24:26:06 - 00:24:47:00

But the staff definitely in that memory care area are exceptional, you know, very patient, very kind. Then that's the point. We kind of a we're talking about this before we were recording is, you know, a lot of people aren't thinking of a career as a CNA certified nursing or personal care nursing. That is an incredible career, very hard work.

00:24:47:00 - 00:25:11:23

But you're dealing with the most vulnerable folks in society, and to be able to see the connection that they might think you're their granddaughter, you know, being able to care for someone like that, especially if their family's not living close, you know, and a lot of our folks have outlived their family. You know, it might just be their you know, they outlived all their siblings and their parents.

00:25:11:23 - 00:25:34:07

You know, the folks that are living on our campus. So that connection is very, very important. Another topic I want to address yet is which is is senior scams. Oh, terrible. Absolutely. And you may not think I had a woman just call me recently where she's the Po for her aunt and uncle. They're down to maybe, I don't know, a couple thousand dollars left because she got scammed on everything.

00:25:34:10 - 00:25:55:04

Second mortgage, his home, you know, and the big part that the scammers have going for them is how quickly they can confuse you on the phone. They might just say is, is Dianne and I just talked to your son, and you may not have given your son's name up and you're like, wait a minute and then you say your son's name and that's boom, they get you connected.

00:25:55:09 - 00:26:15:04

I've had very smart people get scammed. The new one is the bitcoin. I know of somebody that there was an ATM in Allentown where they took all the money out of the bank. Normally the bank will say, what is this for? They get nervous, say what the person told them to say. Once that Bitcoin is put into that machine, it's gone.

00:26:15:06 - 00:26:39:07

Not traceable at all. It's gone. Have had people do the gift cards. There's the sweetheart scam, where they'll just start getting you on the phone and say, oh, I'm sorry I dialed incorrectly, but oh, you sound like a nice person. Start a relationship on the phone like that, eventually asking for money. One of the things before I moved my mother to where she is now at fellowship, is she was getting so much junk mail and she was sending money to everybody.

00:26:39:12 - 00:26:59:15

Right when I finally was able to get access to her checking account, having my name put on the checking account, and again, like biblically, if she wanted to gift money away, I wanted her to be able to do that. But it was I was also the fear was no offense, but is this a man living in his mother's basement collecting money for my mother?

00:26:59:17 - 00:27:22:03

So I made on my own the decision. When I moved her, I let her friends know where she was moving. I didn't forward any mail, so everything stopped. So all of those little piddly $25 here, 25 that that all stopped. So you have to be on top of that. And I do encourage you, if you can be on the checking account just so that you can keep an eye on it.

00:27:22:05 - 00:27:41:14

What I did in my brother did everything went electronically so that there was nothing going out. She wasn't writing checks and were. The big thing was, I realized she kept calling the bank and ordering more checks. So she had like 500 checks. So where was all of that money going out to? So you got to be on top of those scams.

00:27:41:14 - 00:28:01:16

And they're very smart. The people that do that because, you know, if they get a 10th of the people falling for it, look how much money they made. So just be on top of it. Yes. That's important. I like the idea of not forwarding the address. I'm sure the place she was living at was not happy about that, but for me it solved it.

00:28:01:16 - 00:28:30:02

So, Laura, what is what would you like our listeners to take away from our conversation? And you know, your book, When Did I Become My Parents' Parent? Well, I think because, you know, looking statistically, the year 2030, the year 2060, they're projecting that there will be actually more people over 65 than there are children in the United States, which is a staggering thought that the baby boomers of I'm one.

00:28:30:02 - 00:28:49:12

And that is just amazing. Like, who's going to take care of us number one? And number two is just don't get into that emergency situation. Just have a plan. You know, it may not even come to be, but just have a plan. Talk to your parents to say, look, I'm not trying to take control of any money. I just want to know that you're going to be safe.

00:28:49:12 - 00:29:09:12

And I want the best option for you. So. And with your siblings making sure that it's an open conversation on that. Because bottom line, your parents took care of you. You want to be able to honor them, but you also have to be aware of if things start happening really quickly. Did you have that plan in place? That was really why I wrote this.

00:29:09:12 - 00:29:33:20

It's more a guide of what I did wrong and just the experiences I have at work with people calling in. And how can they purchase your book? Sure, if they'd like to. It's on. Thank you. It's on Amazon.com. And also, if anybody does need to have questions for me, I'm happy to help. They can reach me at Fellowship Community, and you can just go on the website and you can find our staff and reach me that way.

00:29:33:20 - 00:29:49:13

If you'd like. Happy to help, even if it's not a place where your parents are thinking, but I can help step you through some of the other options that are out there, some of other places that they might want to consider. Well, thank you, Laura, for joining us. And I sure our listeners have taken away a lot of information.

00:29:49:13 - 00:30:11:01

And one thing from each episode, we always find out the key is communication and it's never too early. Always start the conversation when you have the time to start and take your time instead of being pushed against the wall, and you have to make a rash decision. So thank you. Thanks for having here. Well great podcast. Thank you.

00:30:11:03 - 00:30:29:00

If anyone listening has any questions or input please reach out to us, listen to our podcast Caring Table on YouTube and all other major podcast platforms. Thank you for listening. Talk to you next time.