Aging In Place with Diane Davidson

One of the most emotional and important decisions we face as we age is simple, where should I live?

In this episode of Caring Table, I sit down with real estate expert Diane Davidson of Keller Williams Real Estate to explore the real-life choices seniors and families must consider: aging in place, downsizing, multigenerational living, or moving into a senior community.

Together they discuss the emotional attachment to home, safety concerns, financial realities, family communication, and why planning early gives you control instead of forcing decisions during a crisis.

Topics Covered

• The pros and cons of aging in place
• When downsizing may be the smarter financial choice
• How home modifications impact safety and resale value
• Why falls or health crises often force sudden housing decisions
• How to start conversations with family about future living plans
• Options for senior communities and levels of care
• How to protect your home as a financial asset
• Why early planning protects independence and quality of life

Whether you’re planning your future, helping aging parents, or navigating housing decisions later in life, this episode offers clarity, guidance, and peace of mind.

🎧 Start planning today before a crisis forces the decision.

Interested in learning more? Contact Diane Davidson now.

Office: 610-435-1800

Direct: 484-619-2340

Email: dmdavidson@kw.com

Episode Sponsored by:

LIFESTYLES Over 50 Northeastern Pennsylvania is a print magazine that is distributed for FREE 6x annually and connects seniors and their families with senior housing, assisted living, wellness centers, local health care providers, healthy living activities, and community events.

Our Mission encourages vibrant, healthy, and productive living through stories about people we meet and serve.

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Transcript

00:00:01:15 - 00:00:28:14

Welcome to Caring Table. I am Dianne Frana, your host. Having real conversations about real topics shaping lives in the Lehigh Valley and beyond. Today we will be talking about an emotional and important decision as you age. Where should I live? And joining me today is real estate expert Diane Davidson with Keller Williams Real Estate. Diane, would you share a little bit about yourself?

00:00:28:15 - 00:00:53:11

Yes. Thanks for having me, Dianne. Working in the real estate industry since 2007, I've helped clients with all aspects of buying and selling. My expertise covers everything from new construction to helping people downsize or rightsize their homes for the perfect fit. And this conversation is really crucial because I see how a lack of planning regarding lifestyle changes as we age often impacts us in ways that we didn't expect.

00:00:53:12 - 00:01:14:05

Exactly. The question is, do I stay in my home, in my beloved family home and age? In place? Or is it time to sell and downsize or sell and move into a community? And when I say community, I mean a senior community, which there's several different ones out there and choices that you can make. Let's start with aging in place.

00:01:14:07 - 00:01:36:07

Many people say, I want to stay in my home as long as possible. Is that realistic? And for good reason. You want to stay there is because your home is familiar. That's where memories are. That's where your children were raised. That's where you celebrated your holidays. That's where your whole life unfolded. It represents comfort, control and independence. Right?

00:01:36:07 - 00:01:56:17

Yeah, I see that a lot with clients. I would prefer to stay in their homes if they could. But while the desire to age in place is strong, it is important to remember that aging in place requires planning. Thoughtful, realistic planning. One of the first questions to ask is, Will my home still be as safe as my mobility changes as I age?

00:01:56:22 - 00:02:20:03

A home that works well in our 50s and 60s may present challenges later on. It could be the stairs may be difficult or dangerous. Narrow hallways, doorways that may not accommodate walkers or wheelchairs, bathrooms that may be on a different floor, tubs and not a walk in shower. One of the most common places that falls happen is in the bathroom, right?

00:02:20:04 - 00:02:48:19

Yeah. And then there's the issue of the home maintenance, too, because you've lived in the house for a long time and, you know, things always need to be updated. And then there's the regular maintenance of handling the lawn care, the snow removal, even the simple things of changing light bulbs. If they're high in a chandelier, they may be hard to get to fixing a leaky roof, carrying laundry up and down the stairs, tasks that once felt very routine can really become very physically demanding or even risky.

00:02:48:20 - 00:03:07:14

Relying on family, friends, or hired help requires coordination, availability, and financial planning. And families. You know they want to help, but they have busy lives too. So it's not always an option for them to help with your day to day tasks, which is true for families, but also all the things that we list. Those are all for risk as well.

00:03:07:16 - 00:03:26:04

And then one other thing what if you can't drive anymore transportation? Some people do live in a walkable area or there is public transportation, but for those that live in rural areas, you're not able to get there. So how do you get to maintain your independence? Those are questions. You know you want to sit and think about that.

00:03:26:05 - 00:03:57:11

Who we are in our 60s and 70s is not the same person that we are in our 80s or 90s and social activities just for a change of scenery. You want to avoid isolation, right? Yeah. And then even making modifications to the home can help make aging in place safer and more manageable. Things that we often see being modified in the home is installing grab bars, doing walk in showers, adding stair lifts, adding ramps, and even improving lighting, which isn't.

00:03:57:11 - 00:04:21:16

That's something that we always think about right away, but if you have better lighting, you're less likely to have a trip and fall in an area. In-Home care services they can help provide with personal care and medication management, meals and housekeeping. But then there's also community resources such as like meal delivery, transportation programs and visiting nurses. They can help provide valuable support as well.

00:04:21:16 - 00:04:42:05

And these are all things that are there to support you to stay in your home. You know, there's a percentage out there of you that do want to be in your home. So how can that work for you and make the accommodations that you're comfortable so that you would be able to live independently in your home? However, all of these solutions, they come at a cost.

00:04:42:07 - 00:05:03:11

They come at planning coordination. Finding the right person to come and do the repairs. Being able to have reliable people that show up. I mean, we all have faced that through a life where you have people coming in and they're not theirs, and it's takes time. So these are conversations that you need to have with your family. You need to have an assessment of your home.

00:05:03:17 - 00:05:25:14

You also need to look at your finances. So where did you plan your retirement? How did you plan your retirement and what is available for you? These are hard questions to ask yourself. Sometimes they're hard questions to face, but as we age, these are important questions that we need to ask and face. And the goal isn't to discourage staying at home.

00:05:25:15 - 00:05:46:03

It's really just to be realistic and not just hopeful because, you know, the unexpected happens and we need to be prepared. And you are comfortable and you feel safe in your home. But in order to do that, you need a plan. And have a plan in place before a crisis occurs. Accidents always happen. You are not guaranteed tomorrow.

00:05:46:05 - 00:06:10:04

So you never know what is going to happen. We don't have a crystal ball to say there will be no falls. There will be no accidents or your health won't decline. But this will give options and control a peace of mind by sitting down, making a plan. Looking at the financial reality of modifying your home. Do those accessibility renovations and do they truly add resale value to your home?

00:06:10:05 - 00:06:37:17

Those are all things to sit down with someone with your family and compare and talk about, right? Because while it's to your benefit to make the modifications to make the home more comfortable and safe for you, they don't usually add to the resale value of the home, because typically the people that are making the move aren't looking for a home that has had modifications such as chair lifts or grab rails and that sort of thing.

00:06:37:22 - 00:07:01:04

So you could spend thousands of dollars to make modifications. And like, I've even worked with people that they're looking at adding a first floor bedroom and a full bathroom to their home so that their aging parents can stay with them. That is definitely not an inexpensive choice. So by making modifications, you're actually trading liquid cash for immediate utility and safety.

00:07:01:04 - 00:07:22:16

But on the other hand, you are retaining your asset. So staying in the home you do keep your asset and your home equity is your financial safety net. And in many markets it does continue to grow. And maintaining control over your largest asset is important. But there's just a lot to consider. What is your suggestion when the family needs to sit down and have this conversation?

00:07:22:17 - 00:07:49:18

How do you start a conversation with your family about this? Do the children come right? Yeah, and that's what I'm running into a lot right now, where I'm talking to older people that some of their choices seem not well thought out, or maybe that they're rushing because something suddenly has happened and they're feeling very uncomfortable or nervous. So that's when I would love if I could talk to the adult children that are involved.

00:07:49:18 - 00:08:07:06

But that's not an option, as working with the older adults, I want to respect them and know that they are in charge of their lives. But I also would love to have feedback from their aging children to know, do they even know mom's thinking about selling the house? Do they know dad would love to move in with them?

00:08:07:06 - 00:08:26:11

But I don't know those answers to the questions. So as soon as you're starting to be concerned with your safety, have you had a trip and maybe thankful that you weren't injured too hard? But maybe it gets you thinking like what? What if? What if I fell and I was knocked unconscious? You know, there's a lot to think about.

00:08:26:14 - 00:08:56:03

And really, ideally, like we said, it's better to have these conversations before there's a crisis. My interpretation of that is if you start thinking about it for you as the individual who is aging in you and your spouse, the minute you start thinking about that, you should then also involve your children. Or if you it's not children and it's someone close to you who is your power of attorney to get them involved, to sit down and talk and have open communication.

00:08:56:03 - 00:09:21:18

Communication is the key. It's very important to always be communicating so they're aware of what's on your mind. Right? Yeah. Because they're not with you day to day to see what's happening in the house. And that's a good point. Like you said, they're not with you day to day. So when they come in and they see you one day here, and then in two days they see again, they're only seeing you for part of the day, not through all your daily functions, your daily activities that you do.

00:09:21:18 - 00:09:44:22

And this way, it's not something to be afraid to discuss or ashamed of. It's all part of aging. And we all want to age gracefully, right? Yeah. If we can, for sure. Yeah, that's the ideal. So let's just recap some things. And the pros are familiarity, memories, comfort of remaining in your home. The cons are the burden of maintenance, expensive modifications.

00:09:44:22 - 00:10:04:21

And then what if a health emergency happens. What do you do with the cost? How do you cover the costs. And then you have the cost of professional home health care to consider. And then that home asset you've retained might quickly need to be sold to fund that care. The idea was to retain the home as an asset.

00:10:04:21 - 00:10:27:08

But if you get into crisis mode and you need very expensive professional home health care, you're going to deplete that asset very quickly, or you might need to sell it very quickly and not being prepared to that again, I've seen it with many clients where, oh my gosh, this happened, and mom's moving into the nursing home and we've got 50 years of stuff in the house that we now need to think about clearing out.

00:10:27:08 - 00:10:57:03

So again, the pre-planning is really important. And one important fact here that I got is 50 years of stuff in the house. So yes, and that's something to address. Now. Also, when you're planning what you would like for your future, you also have to start to declutter, start getting rid of things. And sometimes that's hard because when we're getting rid of things, we're thinking we're getting rid of part of our life or the emotional attachment to some things.

00:10:57:03 - 00:11:20:19

And you're not. You're just starting a new chapter of your life. You want to move in a positive direction and get prepared and not have this to fall on your loved one, your family member, or whoever it is. You know, the poha. There's many options out there, right? This is one that we talked about, and this is staying in your home and be living on your own, being independent.

00:11:20:19 - 00:11:49:01

But then there's other options. There are. I kind of want to circle back to that, though, to again, with people having kept things for so many years, really have those conversations with your family, you know, does your granddaughter want to your engagement ring, is there a special necklace that somebody would like to have? Are there guns that were your grandfather's that you want to make sure this grandchild gets all of those things, like start doing that before you're in panic mode to clear it all out.

00:11:49:07 - 00:12:17:00

If something's important to you, share that with that person. Share the memory with them. There's actually really cool tools online where people are recording videos and their their loved ones voices to pass on, but it's really important to share what your wishes are with your family, so that when it becomes a critical time that you're not rushing through trying to make decisions on, you know, decades of collections, I like how you said share your wishes.

00:12:17:00 - 00:12:35:15

Not only plan, but share your wishes. Right, so someone else knows what you're thinking, what you would like to happen, and to have that for them to know and be aware. Because if you don't, again, it's communication. If you don't talk about it, they don't know. So then we talk about when we go into the proactive downsizing. Right.

00:12:35:15 - 00:12:55:11

That's that's one of the other options. And that is you taking the time going through things, figuring out what's most important to you. And then, you know, you're selling the large home. So if you're in a 20 800 square foot house and it's just the two of you, or even just one of you, you probably don't need that much space anymore.

00:12:55:12 - 00:13:20:14

And that's a great time to start thinking about the furniture and maybe downsizing to like, a condo or a small ranch style home. So then you sell that more expensive home. You're ridding yourself of the maintenance of it, and you're clearing out the clutter, as you mentioned, as well. And then you have the reserves, too, because a lot of times if you've been in that house 30, 40 years, you're going to have the home is probably paid off.

00:13:20:18 - 00:13:54:23

So all all of the money that you have from the sale of the house easily pays for your much smaller home, as well as allows you to put money aside to invest for your care fund for the future. That's excellent advice. The cash reserve is exactly what pays for the early years of home health or respite care. Which respite care is is you're the person who checks in on you and helps you through your daily activities, is not available to someone else's around to be there to help and come in and make sure everything, all your needs are being fulfilled.

00:13:55:01 - 00:14:21:00

Another option I'd like to talk about is the multigenerational living, where I'm seeing that more frequently, where the aging parents are maybe moving in with their middle aged children and their grandchildren, or the children are moving into mom's house or dad's house, but it helps them save financially for their future care, as well as helping with the daily tasks.

00:14:21:00 - 00:14:46:05

Alternatively, I've also seen clients sell both of their residences, so both the parent who's aging and the children who have maybe raised their kids already, they're off to college. They sell both of their homes and buy one larger home so that they're, again, they are day to day so that they can help the aging parent. It helps financially for everybody, and that takes a lot of planning to do that.

00:14:46:10 - 00:15:06:00

But I've definitely helped people do both of those options. I mean, then there's some pros and cons again to living together. And but I know a lot of times that's a great, you know, it's a great idea because they do the in-law quarters. And if you can, you know, keep it separate. And it is about respecting each other's boundaries and working through that.

00:15:06:00 - 00:15:23:13

That is one, you know, hurdle to addressing to be aware of as well. Yeah. I mean, because you probably haven't lived with your parents for 30 or 40 years, you know, so that is something interesting. And then having your own children, if they're in the house as well, like one of my clients, it was three generations living in the house, but they made it work.

00:15:23:13 - 00:15:41:08

But what other options do you know of doing in? Like if there isn't a family member around, maybe they didn't have children, maybe they don't have anyone to go live with. What are some other choices that they might look at? So the choices that are out there then is you're seeing your communities. You have different levels of senior communities.

00:15:41:08 - 00:16:05:12

You have independent living, assistant living, personal care, memory care, and then skilled nursing. There are communities out there that do have the different levels of care on one campus, which is nice because you're not then moving from one location to another. If your health is to decline, you want to know what is your personality and what decision fits you best.

00:16:05:13 - 00:16:27:01

It's about knowing where you're going to be, where you want to be, and where you will be happy. And again, it goes back to communication. You need to sit down with your family member or loved one or whomever may be the power of attorney and discuss these. Discuss the options out there and look into reaching out and finding out the value of where you are now.

00:16:27:06 - 00:16:50:19

The home that you're in. And this is interesting. I'm going to share this part two. We talked about it in preparation for this podcast. I counted how many times my grandparents moved like they had been in their home for 40 or 50 years, but in their last 10 to 15 years of life, my grandmother actually ended up moving eight times because of their different circumstances, and that was a lot for her.

00:16:50:19 - 00:17:08:17

I mean, I was very young when all that happened, but looking back on it, I'm sure that was very stressful for her, even though she had gotten rid of all her things when they sold the big house. Each time circumstances changed and she had to learn a new routine, a new layout of the home and make sure that the things were safe for her.

00:17:08:17 - 00:17:29:18

So really, it can be really deeply affecting to. And it it does move that much. Yes. It does deeply affects the people. And that's the thing your health. And each time it is a situation, a change, there may be some decline in health and there may not be, but that is one thing about moving because of change and where you're comfortable.

00:17:29:20 - 00:17:57:16

And then you got to get reacquainted with everything. So that's a lot of different options to consider. And that's why selling the home, rather than modifying it to age in place or downsizing to a less expensive home, are some great options, since the savings helps to fund the care that you need in the future. Instead of, like I said, making expensive modifications just go ahead and downsize and make it something that's easier.

00:17:57:17 - 00:18:17:01

Maybe a first floor condo or a condo building that has an elevator making things a little bit easier instead of having to go through that crisis mode. So there's a lot of options, a lot of decisions out there. It's important to reach out to someone in real estate, you know, I am would be more than happy, you know, to give you some more advice.

00:18:17:01 - 00:18:37:06

And you don't always know what's out there till we start asking questions. And there's not any harm in start asking questions and having the communication again. I cannot stress the importance of the communication and what will make you happy, because you don't want to be forced to do something you're not going to be happy with. You want to be happy.

00:18:37:06 - 00:19:01:11

You deserve it. What is the key health factor that absolutely forces the conversation where the options start to disappear? It's always a fall or a sudden cognitive decline and a health crisis that proves the existing home is no longer safe. And when you move in a crisis, you lose all options and negotiating power. So you want to be in control.

00:19:01:11 - 00:19:22:17

You want to be able to make a decision that's going to keep you happy. The market's always changing. We've got a very strong seller's market here in the Lehigh Valley and we have for a very long time. There's a lot of people that say well every seven years that's a cycle. No no. Yeah it hasn't been here. We've been expecting it to become a buyer's market since 2019.

00:19:22:17 - 00:19:42:05

And it just hasn't happened here because we have so many people moving into the area. But heaven forbid it becomes a buyer's market. And what if you could have sold your house for more? You don't want to be forced to sell. You want to make the choices like you were saying and making the choices in your timing. Not when.

00:19:42:05 - 00:19:59:00

Oh my gosh, she fell and now she's been in the hospital. She's going to go to rehab and probably is not able to ever come home now. Oh my gosh. All right. So now we're paying for the heat. We're paying for the taxes. We're paying electricity. All these expenses in a home that she can no longer live in.

00:19:59:05 - 00:20:18:01

And we've got 50 years of stuff that is not the scenario you want to be in. And that's again, bring this back to the key word communication. Sitting down and communicating. There's no obligation when you're asking now, when you go out and you ask questions, there's no obligation. You need to do your research. You need to sit down and write it out.

00:20:18:01 - 00:20:40:01

Write the pros and cons. What are your desires? Where do you see yourself to be? That's important. It's about you. I have clients right now. I talked to them three years ago because they knew that they wanted to downsize and move into probably a one story home. Well, then, you know, we had that conversation, we had some ideas, and we had been passively looking for homes.

00:20:40:01 - 00:20:59:18

And then suddenly there was a health crisis. And for the past year, they've been dealing with that health crisis. And now their plan is not to buy a cute little cottage somewhere. It's actually moving into a senior community because life has changed on them. Thankfully, we had been planning on selling the home, so they were getting ready for the for several years.

00:20:59:18 - 00:21:20:22

I'm clearing things out, but you know, it was about the planning, knowing what their options were so that they could okay, they had to pivot from doing plan A to plan B, but they had already started the process of decluttering and preparing to downsize. And that's the key there. They already started the process. Right. And it what? They're not in emergency mode.

00:21:20:22 - 00:21:47:13

Correct. Crisis mode. Right. Yeah. And that that makes it so much easier for them. We all know when we're in emergency or crisis mode, we're not thinking straight here. Then the best decisions. Now we're making decisions on emotions and not on reality. To summarize the health side, it's about planning for a better quality of life that's just managing your decline, that you know you want to look at it, you want to plan for it.

00:21:47:14 - 00:22:08:23

And again, to have the quality of life. And to summarize the real estate side, your home is a huge asset. So you want to strategize how to leverage that asset, whether it be staying in the home and modifying it or selling it to downsize and then fund the rest of your life and the care that you want. Control your asset.

00:22:08:23 - 00:22:31:09

Don't let it control you. Yes. And again, the takeaway from this episode is planning. Start the conversation early. Talk with family, ask questions, tour communities, talk to a real estate agent, and most of all, give yourself permission to plan. That is one thing that we don't we don't think we can plan because, oh, I can't move out of the house.

00:22:31:09 - 00:22:51:22

Some may feel I can't move out of this house. This is where I raise my children. You'd be surprised what their thoughts are. They can be relieved that you're in a safe place, that they're not worrying about you every night. You know, our big going back to that communicate, communicate, communicate and plan and have the conversation early. And it's never too early.

00:22:51:22 - 00:23:11:11

And, Diane, I know you're there. Would you like to share with our audience about you as well with how you can advise them? So again, there is zero obligation to work with me. I want to be there as a resource for anybody that I'm speaking with as far as, you know, planning. Like I said, that was three years ago and we're fun.

00:23:11:11 - 00:23:28:13

We're going on the market. I feel like this weekend, but I'm happy to take the time to plan and say, this is what I think the House is worth right now. And, you know, if you are still in really great shape and, well, what can I do to improve the asset? I can give you some ideas on that.

00:23:28:13 - 00:23:52:02

I can give you resources on contractors too. If you want to age in place and say and modify some things, I'm happy to help you with that as well. It's not all about just making a sale. It's about caring for my clients, advising them, and listening to what their needs are. That's that's really important to me. I oftentimes I'll look at them as, you know, as if they were my own parents or grandparents.

00:23:52:02 - 00:24:10:23

And, you know, I want to make sure that they're making the best decisions. So if your parents are talking to a realtor, talk to me too. Don't be afraid to. As the children talk to me, too, unless Mom and dad are going to get mad at you. But like, I, you know, let's have open communication everywhere. Make sure everybody's on the same page.

00:24:11:04 - 00:24:29:21

I want to thank you for taking your time and being on our podcast, sharing your information. How can they get in contact you? Well, thank you so much for having me and asking me to be here today. I do love serving all different segments of the community and especially the seniors, so some of my designations are military relocation professional.

00:24:29:21 - 00:24:52:06

I did that because my husband is a veteran as well as two of my sons have served in the military, and a great nephew just came home from a deployment. So military relocation professional is dear to my heart. I'm also a probate specialist. So if you're in this situation where things weren't planned very well and you just need to help with the the sale of a home after I'm certified for that as well.

00:24:52:06 - 00:25:21:00

You know, I help first time homebuyers and everybody in between. So I just want to be a resource, like I said, contractors title questions. I have amazing title connections, mortgage lenders, everything. If you've got a question real estate related, I will find you the answer. The best way to reach me is either via my cell phone that is (484) 619-2340, or my email address is dmdavidson@kw.com.

00:25:21:03 - 00:25:47:17

And you can text me at that number. And also the rest of my contact details will be in the description of the podcast. Well thank you. Thanks. If anyone listening has any questions or input please reach out to us, listen to our podcast Caring Table on YouTube and all other major podcast platforms. Thank you for listening. Talk to you next time.